It Doesn't Get Better
by momonono
Summary: Olivia won't admit her true feelings to Alex. Will it be too late? Based on Loss, Ghost, and Lead. It is now rated M.
1. Confused

**Chapter 1 Confused**

**AN: All Characters are property of Dick Wolf and NBC. This is a one shot for now. If you want me to continue I will ask for 5 reviews. Thanks for reading. A/O. This is based on the episode Loss, Ghost, and Lead.**

"Olivia, this is about us. Don't tell me you are leaving because you found a better job in Georgia..."

"It's Florida," interrupted Olivia, "It's not always about you, counselor." Olivia was now annoyed by Cabot's complaints. She continued to pack her bags.

The truth is Olivia was departing her beloved hometown on behalf of Alex. Olivia was not only confused about what was happening between her friend, but she couldn't admit she was a lesbian. She decided that the only way to deal with her problems was to run away from them.

"Liv, I love you and..." Alex paused. She drew up her hand to touch Olivia's face but Olivia moved away, "I don't get it! Everything was going fine. Were we going too fast? Because we can take it slow." Alex stared into the brunettes eyes.

"Alex, I... Am not a… lesbian." it hurt Olivia to tell this lie to herself. "I d…d…don't love you." Olivia knew deep down she hurt Alex.

Alex looked for some type of movement to see if Olivia was lying. "You are lying." Alex had tears engulfed in her eyes. The dinner she ate just an hour ago seemed to make her want to puke.

With every being in Olivia's body, Olivia held herself from telling Alex her true feelings. "I...I am not. Just leave. Ok. Just leave." Olivia did not want to face Alex after what she just pulled.

"Um. Yeah. That's what I should do! Leave! You will regret pushing me away and lying to yourself." Alex stated almost in a whisper.

Under her breath Olivia replied, "I already do."

Alex slammed the newly installed door to Olivia's apartment.

Olivia sat on the floor and began to sob.

She realized that her feelings wouldn't change anything. Her love for Cabot was very much there.

It felt like a dagger was stabbed through her heart and then stabbed Alex's heart.

Alex's face continued to replay in Olivia's head. The tears and the screaming. All coming back to haunt her.

Olivia angry at herself got up and packed. She had this affinity for Alex. Why could she stop being a wimp and tell her? Oh well, this is her last week on the job. She wanted to pack early just in case this current case didn't give her time.

Elliot told her to go to the precinct in a phone call before Alex came barging in.

Olivia grabbed her keys and headed out. Knowing Alex would be there will make it more dreadful.

**xXx**

Olivia arrived at the precinct and joined the conversation.

"Rafael Zapata has men, Cabot. Frankly, I don't want you wondering alone." Don acknowledged Olivia with a simple head nod. "I want Benson and Stabler to watch your every move."

"I don't think-" Alex got interrupted.

"Elliot take the first, Liv, you take the second." Don stated and walked into his office.

"I guess I'm up first. Um... Liv, come around eleven." Elliot told her as he left.

She just nodded her head_. 'I really hate Cragen right now' _she thought.

Fin noticed something was wrong. "Hey baby girl, you want to talk?"

"Nope, I'm fine" Olivia stated, "Thank you."

**11:00 pm**

_Knock. Knock._

"It's me, Olivia." Olivia stated.

Elliot opened the door.

The brunette entered. "Hey." Olivia directed at Elliot.

"Hey. Well I'm off. Night." Elliot waved goodbye to Alex and Olivia.

Olivia shut the door. "How are you feeling?" Olivia wondered.

"Please, don't try to give me small talk." Alex stated walking to her bedroom.

Olivia deserved that. Olivia decided to take a nap too.

**The Next Morning**

Olivia woke up. She forced herself to get up. She decided to go check on Alex.

Olivia slowly opened the door and saw Alex still asleep.

Olivia got distracted by a knock on the door.

"It's me Elliot."

Olivia walked toward the door and opened up.

"Hey, I just wanted to tell you Rafael Zapata is dead. That's a good thing because we are now off the case."

Olivia had a surprised look on her face. This was great now she can really rest before she leaves for Florida.

**Later That Day**

Olivia, Elliot, and Alex were exiting the building.

"Thanks for watching me." Alex directed at Elliot.

"Ok, what's going on betwee-"

A strange SUV stopped and fired a couple bullets.

Elliot took off running after it.

Olivia finally got up and saw Alexandra on the floor bleeding.

Olivia crawled towards her. "No, no, no," Olivia began to place pressure on the wound. "Alex, stay with me."

Elliot came back breathing hard as ever. Staring at the lifeless body of Alexandra Cabot.

**xXx**

After learning about the death of Alex Cabot. Olivia couldn't believe that she couldn't tell Alex that she loved her. That she wanted to be with her.

"Benson." Olivia finally answered her phone.

"It's Cragen. I just called Elliot. I need you both to meet with DEA. Something about closing the case."

Don hung up.

**Later That Day**

"What do you think they need? I mean the case is closed."

"I don't know." Elliot shrugged.

They finally arrived there and exited the vehicle.

"Hey, I just wanted to show you something. She didn't want to leave without seeing both of you."

Olivia and Elliot were just as confused.

The DEA opened the door.

Olivia gasped. Tears flooding through her eyes. "I thought you were dead."

Elliot was just as in shock as Olivia. They both stared at Cabot to see if she was real.

Olivia wanted to tell her everything but with Elliot there she couldn't.

Finally, Elliot and the DEA saw that they both needed to talk so they both entered the car.

The driver exited.

"Alex, look, I didn't mean anything…" Olivia took a breath, "I am a lesbian in love with Alex Cabot." Olivia smiled.

"So now you tell me. Now? If I was shot…"

Olivia kissed her. Olivia's hand in Alex's blonde silky hair. Alex finally gave in.

"It doesn't get better than this." Olivia whispered through the kiss.

**AN: Kind of corny, but it's so cute. Hope you guys liked it. I'm up for writing more chapters. I just need 5 reviews. **


	2. New Case

**Chapter 2 New Case**

**AN: thank you for the reviews and alerts and author favorites. They made me smile. Thanks It made me want to write. I have improved on my smut a little so I hope in the upcoming chapters you guys can give me constructive criticism. Ok, I'm asking for just 3 reviews this time (it gives me a confidence boost…lol).**

Alex suddenly halted the passionate kiss.

She finally gazed into Olivia's eyes. "You… were late."

Olivia took this as a joke. "Better late than never."

Alex's face was stoic. "No, Olivia, you would have never admitted this to me if I didn't get shot."

"I was scared, but now, now I want you." Olivia replied. Her head was now slightly to the side.

"It's too late. Don't you get it? I'm in witness protection. They are going to take me for I don't know how long." Alex shrugged.

Olivia tried to hold her composure, but the fact that she couldn't admit to herself that she was in love with Alex and that it was too late before she realized, caused her seemingly dark brown eyes to stream a waterfall of tears down her olive cheek.

"Alex..." Olivia tried to talk between her sobbing, "I am so sorry." She finally said. "I didn't know what the feelings that I was experiencing with you were. I didn't want to admit to myself that..." she took a deep breath.

Alex gazed at Olivia intently. She was still hurt and although Olivia was apologizing she couldn't forgive her. Not right now. She wanted Olivia to feel what she felt.

"I didn't want to admit that-" Olivia got cut off.

"I have to go." Alex faced the windshield. She was hurt. She didn't want someone who couldn't admit to themselves that they are in love with her. Not only that, Olivia wants to admit it only because she knows she's not going to see Alex again.

Olivia stared at Alex's face; Her eyes shifting to find an answer to why Alex just stopped her. "Alex... Alex, look I'm trying to tell you-"

Alex pulled down her window down and signaled for the DEA.

"You are ready to go?"

Alex simply nodded.

Olivia stopped staring and opened her door. "I love you, Alex. Yes, maybe it was too late. I just want to tell you I'm not moving to Florida anymore and..."

Olivia's voice trailed off as the car started moving.

Elliot came up behind her oblivious to the words that were just spoken. "Hey, I'm going to miss her, too. Stop crying." Elliot hugged her smiling.

Olivia nodded. She wasn't just going to miss her, but she was also going to feel like shit. She was stupid enough to let it go on this long. She could have stopped the relationship before it began so it wouldn't hurt like it was hurting now. Telling Alex she loved her, felt good, but it didn't fix shit. In all these corny movies they always say I love you and it fixes everything. That's all Olivia hoped for.

**Two Years Later**

"This boy says he got shot by a ghost?" Fin stated walking towards Olivia's desk.

Olivia was ruffling through papers. "Yea, why?" she asked without looking at Fin.

"I know a guy that can find perps in different aliases. If the kid described him enough maybe we can find him." Fin suggested.

"Alright, Elliot is getting ballistics on the bullet so I'll go." Olivia finally looked up. She grabbed her brown leather jacket and quickly shoved it on while she was walking towards the elevator.

**xXx**

"So you called me down?" Elliot asked kind of rushed.

"Yea, we matched the bullet."

"We got the perp?" Elliot asked.

"No, but look." The tech turned the computer screen around.

"Alex? He shot..." Elliot quickly dialed Olivia. "Thanks," Elliot stated through the doorway.

**xXx**

"Never mind," Olivia finally stated towards the man at the computer. "I don't know how we are going to find this ghost."

"Did you say ghost?" the man started typing. "If you're talking about ghost, well that's him. He's with the drug cartel."

"Print a picture and fax it to our precinct."

As Olivia was about dial Elliot's number her phone buzzed.

"Benson." She started walking out of the building.

"Hey, I got ballistics on the gun."

"I got good news, too."

Elliot laughed through the phone. "It's more like the same bullet that was found on the boy was the same one extracted from Alex."

Olivia had forgotten all about Alex. Her first true love. "That's great. I think I got the guy." Olivia was now driving.

"Great. Meet you at the precinct."

**AN: Aww…Olivia and Alex might see each other again will they finally be together? Or will Alex turn Olivia down? Or will Olivia just not want a relationship because she doesn't want to get hurt, so many possibilities. Also, I have a story for all you A/O shippers; tell me in the review if you want me to post it up. Thanks for the awesome reviews. The real action is in the next chapter. 3 reviews remember. Love you guys!**


	3. Promise I Will

**Chapter 3 Promise I Will**

**AN: To begin, I love you readers for 13 reviews 7 on Chapter 1 and 6 on chapter 2. I was so happy I wrote two chapters. I have smiles all over my face. Well I present you with Chapter 3. Hope you like.**

**Precinct **

"Some guy told us where he is." Fin stopped Olivia and Elliot from the elevator.

Olivia and Elliot exchanged glances. "That was fast." Olivia had her crooked smile on.

They all rode the elevator.

**Docks**

Olivia went by car following the perp on the run as Elliot and Fin ran after him.

"El, Liam Connors just went west on 8th." stated Olivia into the radio while driving.

"Gotcha." Elliot breathlessly replied.

Olivia finally cut in front of Liam. She opened her door with her gun pointed it at him.

Elliot ran behind him with Fin trailing. Elliot grabbed the handcuffs while Liam halted and surrendered.

**Precinct**

Elliot came out of the investigation room. "He's not going to talk, but he's scared. I think we got him."

"We have our witness and a great case; I think we can win this." Casey told everyone in the room.

"Alright. Let's go." Olivia stated.

**Olivia's home **

Olivia finally reached her home after her date with a writer in the Wall Street Journal.

"Devon, I had a really good night." Olivia finally told the man standing in her doorway. "I'm tired so maybe another time."

"Aww...ok. See you later." he gave Olivia a peck on the cheek. "Night."

He wasn't her boyfriend but Olivia did love having something to do after work. She also decided never to have a serious relationship because of the heartbreak she experienced with Alex.

She wasn't feeling good, so decided to tell Elliot that she wasn't coming to the trial.

She just headed straight for her bed.

**Trial**

"Sorry, Novak. This case is dismissed." The judge smacked down her gabble.

Casey didn't want this murderer out, "Detective, arrest him for the murder of Alexandra Cabot."

Elliot looked at her strangely. He knew Alex wasn't killed, but he had to arrest him, right? He didn't want Alex's life at stake.

Eliot got up from his seat and handcuffed Liam.

**Cragen's Office**

A DEA came into his office, "You want to get your precinct searched and probed by OPP? What are you trying to pull?" stated the man angrily.

"Maybe you should knock. What are you talking about?" Cragen asked confused and obviously pissed off.

"You let one of your detectives arrest Liam Connors for the murder of Alexandra Cabot! You damn well knew that she's in witness protection." the DEA was furious.

"Wait what?" Cragen obviously confused.

"You didn't know?" the DEA asked.

**Cragen's Office Hours Later**

Elliot looked like a little kid getting in trouble for hitting another kid.

"Olivia is so lucky she isn't here right now! We have to get Alex out of witness protection and get her and the little boy to testify." Cragen told Elliot. "Now go with this nice DEA here and get Alex here safe! Don't call Olivia I want to talk to her myself, understood detective?"

"Yes sir," Elliot looked towards the DEA, "Ready to go?"

"Yep," he held his hand out, "Cragen."

**Alex's Witness Protection Home**

As Elliot and the DEA pulled in they could see Alex by the window and see her quickly move away.

They exited the car and were about to knock when Alex opened the door. She looked more beautiful than the last time Elliot saw her. Her hair longer and no bangs! Elliot stared at her.

She had a worried face on. "What happened?" All she could think is that Olivia died or she is missing. That's the only explanation to Olivia's absence. Wait, no, maybe it could be that Olivia didn't want to be with her or ever seen her again.

Elliot and the DEA entered the home. "Look, I'm just going to cut to the chase. We found your "murderer," but the problem is that we are charging him with your murder and you are alive. We need to get you back to testify."

Alex decided to go. While she was thinking she remembered Olivia and automatically assumed that Olivia didn't want to see her, so she didn't want to see Olivia. "I'll go, however on one condition."

Elliot rolled his eyes and smiled, "What you want to get there in a limo and you want me to be your chauffeur?" Elliot laughed.

"Although, that would be lovely, I just don't want Olivia knowing I'm back." she seriously replied.

Elliot touched his face and nodded, "Uhkay, Okay."

**Precinct 11:00 am - Cragen's office**

"Alex!" Cragen got up to embrace the ex-ADA.

She hugged him back. "Hey, I heard you needed me and thought I'd drop by."

"So, I heard about your orders to Elliot." Cragen stared at her.

"Yea, I know it sound stupid, but..."

"...I know about you and Olivia. She told me before she even knew you were in witness protection." Cragen looked at her shifting eyes.

"Well, I guess you'll understand."

Cragen nodded his head.

"So is she here? Because I'm going to have to be under surveillance."

"No, she's out sick." Cragen told her.

"Alright, I'm off." Alex stated opening the door.

She headed for the elevators.

To her surprise before she was about to click the button the elevator door opened.

She was still looking down.

Olivia's heart skipped a beat. "Alex?" she gasped.

Quickly Alex looked up. "Olivia?"

"What are you doing here? I mean I heard you were sick." Alex tried to suppress her shock.

"I'm fine, it was just the flu." Olivia finally stepped out of the elevator. "So what are you doing back here?"

"I'm not. I'm just here for a trial."

"Wait, Elliot didn't tell me this?"

"I told him not to. Look it doesn't matter. I have to go, but nice seeing you again." Alex made her way to click the button.

"Well, can I ask you to a homemade food at my apartment? I really want to catch up." Olivia stopped her from going in the elevator.

"I really wish I could, but witness protection placed me in this housing..."

"How about now? I promise I will protect you. I don't know if you know this, but I'm a cop." Olivia joked.

Alex couldn't help but laugh, "Ok, but at your house. I can't let anyone see me, ok?"

"Okay." Olivia entered the elevator with her.

**AN: I liked this chapter. I would love some feedback like always. Thanks for the review for chapter two. Also, about the other A/O story I am correcting and fixing so it will be up probably by Tomorrow (Friday 10****th****) or Saturday 11****th****. I want also want to talk about this promise if I get 7 reviews on this chapter I will post up chapter 4 (which is rated M for something *wink*) tonight or tomorrow. If not you will have to wait. Lol jk I won't do that. But please review (: I love reviews because they help me to write so please give them.**


	4. Were You Scared?

**Chapter 4 Were You Scared?**

**AN: I actually like this chapter. I hope you guys like it, too. Please give feedback because I always like it. Thanks for reading.**

**Olivia's Apartment **

Olivia looked different to Alex. She had longer hair and was way sexier. She had curves in places she doesn't remember seeing before. Her ass was just as voluptuous as she remembered.

"Are you hungry?" Olivia asked eyeing Alex. Olivia started thinking about being rejected if she told her true feelings to Alex. The last time she did ended up in heartbreak.

"No, not right now." She dropped her bag at where used to be the coat hanger. "You changed this place a lot." Observed Alex.

Olivia was now in front of her, "I know." Olivia smiled.

Alex made her way to the sofa. "Still comfortable." Alex smiled.

Olivia now really saw Alex. She was sexy. Olivia wanted her, but was afraid of getting close to something that can be yanked away from her at anytime.

Olivia sat on the same couch as Alex, but on the right side.

"So, are you ready?" Olivia asked talking about the trial.

"Olivia, I've been ready. You shut me out and I have been thinking about you non-stop since I left. I just wanted you to feel what I felt when you told me you didn't love me. I love you, Liv and I can't stop." Alex moved closer to the confused Olivia and kissed her.

Olivia gave in and kissed her back. Each reminding themselves if each other's taste.

"Wait...wait..." Olivia tried to say through the kiss.

Alex stopped and gazed into the brunettes chocolate eyes confused.

"I was actually talking about the trial..." Olivia was catching her breath.

A smile was just wiped out of Alex's face.

Olivia quickly reacted and touched Alex's face, "But…but, I just wanted to tell you that I love you. I guess I deserved that after what I did to you. I'm sorry that we waited so long to get together. I was trying to tell myself that I never loved you and…and therefore I thought I couldn't get hurt." Olivia touched Alex's cheek. It was as soft as she remembered it. She smiled at Alex.

"Liv..."

"I'm not finished. I lied to myself, Alex and I hurt you in the process. I am so sorry."

Olivia didn't want to wait anymore she grabbed Alex's sexy lips to hers, each moaning in each other's mouths.

Alex started to lift Olivia's shirt, then hesitated looking at Olivia for approval.

Olivia lifted up her shirt. "You can have it all," Olivia whispered into Alex's ears.

Olivia signaled for Alex to take her shirt off. "And bra..." Olivia smiled.

Alex quickly took it off.

Olivia pushed her on the couch, so that way Olivia could be directly on top of her.

Olivia softly and slowly kissed her neck, leading to her breasts. Olivia smiled and sucked Alex's nipple. She played with it, with her tongue.

Alex was getting wet. "Olivia...let's take this to your bedroom."

Olivia submitted and got off of her.

As they were walking towards the bedroom they left a trail of clothes. By the time they reached the bed, they were both naked and exposed to each other.

They went back to the position they were in. Olivia was sucking and playing with the other breast. Her hands were all over Alex's body swiftly touching her curves. Olivia made her way back into Alex's mouth.

They both moaning.

Olivia quickly shifted her position to eat Alex out. "Alex, you are really wet." Olivia could believe she missed out on all this just because of denial. She looked up at her lover and smiled.

"Yes." Alex smiled. She wanted Olivia now.

Olivia started eating her out. Placing her tongue in every crevice she could find only once in a while placing her tongue on the bundle of nerves.

Alex moaning louder and louder..."Liv!" Alex started to arch her back.

Olivia started working at Alex's clit, sucking and licking. She loved Alex's taste.

Alex's body was trembling in Olivia's hands and mouth. Olivia sucked harder and licked faster.

She felt Alex tighten up. "Liv... Oh my god... Liv."She grabbed Olivia's hair and was trying hard not to pull, that soon surpassed as she finally climaxed. Finally, breathing, but not for long.

Olivia went towards her lover's mouth and kissed her.

Alex tasted herself in Olivia's mouth. "Mmm,"

They both laughed. "After that Olivia I think I should pay you back."

"Not today, because I want it to be all about you." Olivia smiled. She was now to the right of Alex. She slowly moved a hair piece from Alex's face, and gave a crooked smile.

They were faced each other. Olivia and Alex were now under the covers. Olivia's finger tangled with Alex's.

Alex moved a piece of hair off of Olivia's face. "What were you afraid of?" Alex wondered.

"Of loving you. I couldn't do it." Olivia turned towards the ceiling letting go of Alex. "I didn't want to fall in love with you. When you supposedly died I realized..." Olivia slightly turned her head towards Alex, "... I realized I loved you, and I couldn't stop."

Alex turned to lie on her stomach. She got closer to Olivia to lie on her chest. "I love you." Alex yawned.

Olivia smiled. She watched this beautiful blonde drift to sleep as she was touching Alex's hair and kissing her head.

"I love you, too, Alex Cabot." Olivia whispered as she to succumbed to sleep.

**AN: Aww… I bet you guys loved that one (: For today I'm asking for reviews on my smut. I don't know if it was good or needed more of whatever but please review the story and the smut. Thanks for reading. (:**


	5. I Love You

**Chapter 5 I Love You**

**AN: Hope you guys like this chapter it's really something I think you will review on. So please review after you read. I was tearing a little writing this chapter. Hope you guys get the same effect. ( Tell If you do please :D) I present you with Chapter 5.**

**Morning **

Olivia woke up. She smiled to the fact that she was with her girlfriend, in bed, and finally feeling complete.

Olivia just stared at the blonde. She looked so beautiful when she sleeps. Her complexion was so natural.

Olivia was soon lost in her thoughts.

"Are you just going to keep staring at me?" smiled the beautiful Alex.

Olivia jumped. She didn't even notice Alex was awake. "I wasn't... I didn't..." Olivia tried to recover.

Alex laughed at her lack of words. "You're so cute when you try to explain yourself."

"That's nice." Olivia sat upright.

"What's nice?" Alex sat up too.

Olivia turned towards Alex. She had her famous crooked smile on. "That I'm cute when I'm explaining myself."

Alex playfully pushed her, "I should get ready for court or else Casey will be pissed." Alex started off the bed. "Will you be there?" She headed for the shower.

Olivia obviously wasn't paying attention to Alex's question. Her eyes were set on Alex's ass that bounced as she walked_. 'Oh, no, she's coming closer' _Olivia thought as Alex made her way to Olivia.

"Olivia...Olivia? Are you going to be there?" Alex yelled.

Olivia shook her gaze. "No, I don't think I want to see the guy who shot you. I might..." Olivia went in for a kiss, "Just..." she went in for another, "Kill him," Olivia stood up and held Alex. "I love you. You will do fine. Now, go take a shower."

Alex kissed Olivia again before entering the shower. Olivia decided she should take a shower, too, so she entered with Alex.

When they were done they got dressed and Olivia escorted Alex to the court safely into Elliot's hands.

"Hey, I thought you were not going to see her?" Elliot whispered to Alex.

"I kind of, couldn't get away from her." Alex smiled.

"I can't hear you guys," Olivia smiled standing between them. "Hey just protect her. I'm off to finish my DD5's."

Olivia left without kissing Alex only not to freak out Elliot.

Elliot looked from Olivia to Alex and back. "Ok, you didn't want to see her. And now you guys are the best of friends? What's going on?" Elliot felt confused. Olivia usually tells him everything.

"I don't think she wants me to tell you. Give her time." Alex replied as she turned towards the uniformed man calling her name.

She breathed in. She never had to be in the opposite side of the bench before.

After her testimony she was met with two DEA's and Elliot was with her.

"Alex, your life is still in danger. We are going to have to place you in witness protection again." One of the DEA's told her.

"You told me after this guy is prosecuted, that you would be giving me my life back." Alex replied in a harsher voice and she was now frustrated.

"I'm sorry. So say your goodbye's and in a week you are departing here." The DEA exited the building with his partner.

"This sucks," Alex finally stated.

**6 days later**

Olivia arrived to work with a smile on her face. Last night had to be the best sex she ever had with Alex. Her smile stretched from ear to ear. The best thing is that no one knows about her and Alex, yet.

She sat down on her desk. She grabbed the DD5 for Liam Connors.

Elliot stared at her intently. "Why are you so happy?"

"What I can't be happy?" Olivia replied.

"I guess, never mind." Elliot smiled.

Olivia got up to turn in her DD5 for Liam Connors. "You know I am pretty happy Alex put this guy away."

"I know. The only sad thing about it is that Alex has to go back to witness protection tomorrow. They just gave her only 7 days." Elliot shook his head and then saw Olivia's face expression change.

"What do you mean witness protection wants her back? She told me she will be back forev-..." Olivia started walking away. "Um... I'm going to turn in these."

Throughout the whole day at work, Olivia was confined to a desk, confined to her thoughts trailing back to Alex. _'Did Alex really skip that huge fact?'_

The whole gang was let out early. "Hey Liv, you up for a drink?" Fin asked as they exited the elevator.

"Not tonight." Olivia was in her thoughts, the ones that were stuck like glue.

**Olivia's Apartment**

Olivia didn't bother to turn on the light. She sat on her couch near the night stand, looking down. Putting all her weight on her elbows, on her knees.

She didn't know what to feel. She had too many emotions going through her at once. She didn't know if she should be angry about Alex not telling her or sad that Alex would be gone.

"I should just drink." Olivia stated out loud to herself.

Before she even got up, Alex entered the apartment. Alex flicked the light open. "Olivia?"

Olivia's countenance had signs of despair and pent up anger.

Olivia was angry at letting herself fall in love with Alex AGAIN!

Alex came closer and sat on the couch. "Babe, what's wrong?"

Olivia was still looking down and practically whispered, "When were you going to tell me?" Olivia stated as warm, glistened tears fell from her cheek.

"Tell you what babe?" Alex reached to touch Olivia's hand and Olivia jerked.

Now louder Olivia stated again, "When were you going to tell me?" Olivia's eyes ablaze with streaming tears and hatred in her quivering voice.

"Oh My Gosh, Liv, I can explain." Alex attempted to touch Olivia again and this time Olivia jerked out of the way and stood up.

She now saw Olivia's expression. The face she usually has when she dealing with criminals.

Olivia gave her an empty glaze, "Do you think I am stupid or some fucking retard? Because if that's what you think then you have me all wrong. I loved you, cared for you, let alone left work for you to feel better after that nasty hangover the other day. I...I gave you love. You repay me with this shit Alex. Come on!" Olivia rolled her eyes, tears still streaming down her face.

Alex got up to try to calm Olivia down and explain herself. "Liv, if you just-"

"I'm just asking, when were you going to tell me? I'm saying when were you going to tell me that you were going back to witness protection? I mean with passing by 6 days, you would think if someone loves you they would tell you something this big. I mean you were going to wait until you disappeared to call and tell me? Smooth." Olivia walked to her door.

"What? Olivia, NOW I could-" Alex was cut off by a door slammed right in front of her face.

Alex sat down sobbing. Her abdomen filled with pressure. She quickly went to the bathroom.

The problem was that she wasn't going to witness protection. She was going to work in Colorado for a year. She was a little relieved that Olivia was talking about the Witness Protection. McCoy sent her to Colorado so she can get back on her game. It wasn't a matter of choice, it was pretty much like an assignment, she couldn't turn it down nor could she just put down the option of at least getting her job back. Although, leaving in 3 weeks, tonight was the night she was going to tell Olivia.

She quickly got up. Olivia couldn't have gone that far.

She grabbed her phone and dialed Olivia's number. Voicemail. She called again. Voicemail. She somehow knew Olivia wasn't going to answer the phone, nevertheless she continued to try. She called again. This time Olivia picked up the phone.

The background sounded of water and wind. She was at the beach.

"What do you want?" Olivia practically yelled in the phone in a failed attempt to hide her quivering voice.

Alex was happy Olivia picked up the phone. Now she knew where Olivia was. "I need to talk to you. Come home, please." Alex was begging something that only Olivia brought out of her.

"Why? Why would I go home to a secretive Bitch?" Olivia again screaming through the phone, tears streaming down her now red cheeks.

"Ok, I deserved that. Please just come home. It's cold. I want to explain." Alex was now pacing.

"Ok, I'll hear you out" Although pissed Olivia managed to keep calm and drove back home.

**Olivia's Apartment**

Olivia entered the home.

Alex came running to embrace her.

Olivia was still obviously hurt she backed away.

"Olivia... Come sit." Alex sat on the couch and Olivia sat on the opposite side.

Olivia hated feeling vulnerable. She sat glazing into Alex's eyes, a tactic she always had to check if someone was lying or giving her ear candy.

"I love you and I didn't want to hurt you…but I'm not going to witness protection, they told me I'm free." Alex finally reached to grab Olivia's hand.

"Wow… I feel like an idiot." Olivia answered smiling at herself with tears still streaming down her face.

Alex let out a breath. Too bad she wasn't done with her bad news. "You are not an idiot...I have another thing to tell you…" Alex was breathing harder.

Olivia looked at her puzzled. "What?"

"I...I uh... McCoy wants me to get back on track with my career. So he placed me in a school in Colorado. I leave in three weeks." Alex looked at Olivia who was stoic.

"Did you deny it?" Olivia, finding herself lamenting again.

"Even if I did it was either this or my job and you know how much this means to me..." Alex tried to explain.

"So what does this mean for us?" Olivia asked.

"It doesn't mean anything. It's only a year we could email or text or call." Alex suggested.

"I don't think I can handle hearing your voice and not touch you. I can't handle that... I knew I shouldn't have fallen in love with you! I knew it end in heartbreak..." Olivia rambled on. Her tears coming down faster.

Alex quickly cupped Olivia's face with her hands, "Olivia... Olivia, what are you talking about? We will still be together!"

Olivia removed Alex's hands. Tears were streaming down her face. "I can't handle it. I think before anything more happens in these three weeks... I think we should just split." Olivia couldn't believe what just left her lips, but it was what she was feeling.

Alex stared at her, "No Liv..." Alex's eyes searching for answer. Soon everything became blurred and her tears engulfed her eyes. The wretched sorrow impacting her life once again. She didn't want to leave Olivia.

"Olivia, I love you! I love you. I can't stop, not now, not ever. The sooner you understand that, you will understand how much you are hurting me." Alex blue eyes flushed with more tears as her eyes focused on Olivia's.

Olivia suddenly changed her posture, her face expression and looked at Alex puzzled, "Alex you really need to stop thinking about yourself. I know how much I hurt you before. You just never got it? I love you, Alex. You don't know how hard it is to tell someone I love them. I hate being vulnerable to anyone, but I chose you Alex, you out of all people, because you were kind and you always listened to me. I knew why I was leaving to Florida. I was leaving because I scared of falling in love with you. I was scared entering this relationship again. I'm not hurting you. I'm saving myself from blood, sweat, and tears. I can't handle not being able to see you every day. So this is it Cabot. I hope you have a good year. Please move on, don't stay focused on me."

Alex looked at Olivia with horror in her eyes as if someone stabbed her. "Olivia, stop! Stop! I'm not leaving you because a job confines me to a state for a year. I know we can work something out. I know we can." Alex was staring her lover in the eye, however it seemed that Olivia wouldn't budge, "Olivia, Please…We came this far-"

"I know," Olivia gasped for air. She felt suffocated, "I know, Alex. I can handle it Alex. You don't know how long I waited for you to come back so I can tell you I'm sorry, so I can finally have you in my arms. I felt stupid for not telling you how I feel. In fact, I was hurt more than ever when you weren't here. Please, for me, for once, let's just end it now. I don't want to get hurt." Olivia was still weeping.

"Olivia, don't you hear yourself? You are in love with me," Alex held Olivia's hands. "You will be hurting yourself letting me go."

Olivia shook her head, "Alex, please."

That was the end of it. Alex quickly got up. She knew Olivia already made up her mind. Before walking out the door she turned to Olivia, who wasn't facing her, and said, "I will always love you. I know I can't change your mind, but…" Alex's voice trembled. She couldn't handle this she quickly retreated to the elevators.

**AN: Whoa…intense. Hey, please review. I love writing for you guys, you are a great audience. I really love writing this story. Please review and tell me what you think, what's on your mind? **


	6. Bad Night

**Chapter 6 Bad Night**

**AN: You are going to wonder who Devon is in this story. If I didn't elaborate on him he is a guy Olivia had casual sex with while Alex left her. She confides in him because he's the only one that knows about her sexuality. **

**Morning - Precinct **

Olivia walked in the precinct looking like shit. She had bags under her eyes. Sure sign of sleep deprivation.

"You look like you had a bad night." Elliot joked.

This was obviously not the time for Elliot to be an ass. Olivia rolled her eyes and sat down. "Thanks for the coffee." that's was all Olivia stated the whole day.

She had to finish paper work for several cases.

"Hey, it's ten and getting late. You look like you need sleep." Elliot told her.

She rubbed her eyes. "Yea, I'll pack up in a couple minutes."

"Ok, good night." Elliot smiled.

When she heard Elliot leave, she finally broke down crying. No one was there and she couldn't hold it in.

She sobbed for a good hour before she decided to pack and leave.

**Olivia's Apartment**

When she arrived to her apartment she decided to call Devon.

"Hey Liv." Devon sounded tried.

"I was wondering... I need someone to talk to. I'm confused and I don't know. I know it's in the middle of the night, but... Never mind." Olivia was about to hang up.

"Wait, wait... I'm on my way." Devon shut his phone and headed to Olivia's apartment.

Olivia opened the door. She smiled and hugged him.

"I haven't seen you in... Forever."

"I know."

"Are you ok? You sounded like you were crying on the phone." Devon made his way to the kitchen. "Beer?"

Olivia smiled and nodded. "Remember the girl I told you I butchered the relationship with?"

Devon smiled and nodded his head. "Yea, you were really dumb. She was sexy."

Olivia playfully hit him. "As I was saying, she came back, a week ago, and everything was going great. She had this job that's so far away. She wants to do long distance, but I can't handle that." Olivia started playing with her thumbs, and tears fell out her eyes. "I loved her, you know...I just can't... But she wanted to so bad. So bad. It's not fair." Olivia felt her tears drop down her cheeks.

Devon scooted next to her and hugged her. "It's ok, it's ok..."

Olivia just broke down on him. "I'm sorry." Olivia stated trying to wipe her tears.

"It's ok. You look so cute when you cry though. I sincerely mean that." Devon smiled.

Olivia playfully pushed herself off of him. "We are not here for casual sex. I don't think I will be having sex with you in a while."

Devon was now serious. "I'm not here for sex. I'm here for you. Now relax and let's go to your bed and let's get you some sleep." Devon grabbed Olivia's hand and pulled her up.

Olivia found herself really sleepy she ended up sleeping on Devon's chest.

**Morning**

Olivia woke up. Devon wasn't on the bed. She looked up and saw Devon get out the shower with a towel covering his lower half.

"Sorry, I have a job at nine. I have my clothes in my car so I decided to change here." Devon smiled.

"No, it's ok." Olivia stretched and sat up. She felt void. Right, about now Alex would give her a witty comment that would send her laughing. Then, they would kiss. Ou... And take showers together. Olivia smiled to herself.

"What are you thinking?" Devon had a smirk on his face.

"Nothing. Get out." Olivia replied getting up from her bed.

"How do I look?" Devon replied.

"Great. Can you leave?" Olivia replied laughing.

"Ok, ok. Bye. Remember you can always reach me." Devon headed out the door.

Olivia started to get ready for work.

When she was done, her phone rang. "We have a case. Fin and I already got the perp. Go to Alex to get the search warrant. Can you believe she's leaving to Colorado in 3 weeks?" Elliot hung up.

"Way to go Elliot." Olivia stated out loud to herself.

She slowly drove to the DA's office.

When she arrived, she told herself to be professional.

She knocked on Alex's Door.

"Come in," A voice from within rang in Olivia's ears.

"Hey," Olivia stated casually.

"Olivia? What are you doing here?" Alex was getting excited then was reminded of Elliot's warning that Olivia would be around to get the search warrant.

"Elliot needs that search warrant." Olivia tried not to stare at the blondes lips, breast, legs, anything that got her excited.

"Oh... Yea. Here." Alex handed them to Olivia.

"Thank you." Olivia quickly turned around to head out.

"Olivia?" Alex asked.

**AN: Olivia and Alex are so cute. Please give reviews. I noticed I haven't got any in the last two chapters. Let me know if I should continue. I need reviews they encourage me to write. So to continue please 4 reviews. All I'm asking for is 4 so I can know that you guys are still with me. Thanks for all the reviews (:**


	7. It Kinda Hurts

**Chapter 7 It Kinda Hurts**

**AN: Sorry for the late post, nevertheless I thank you for your reviews which are great because I love writing stories.**

Olivia turned around to have Alex's lips pressed on hers. She quickly pushed Alex off, "What the hell was that?"

Alex looked at Olivia, "I thought maybe a kiss will change your mind."

"I thought we already settled this. I came for a professional visit, Alex. I came to get papers. If you wanted to talk about… about us you could have called Alex." Olivia shook her head and started for the door.

Alex stopped Olivia's hand, "Olivia, don't. Please. Look I have been thinking and maybe we can get together for lunch. It can be professional." Alex smiled and chuckled to herself, "The guys think something is up, because we are not hanging out anymore. I don't want them to know about either of us… and besides it won't be a date I promise. They can come too."

Olivia felt Alex's warm hands on hers . "Only if they come." Olivia noticed Alex's hand was still on hers and looked at Alex.

Alex got the queue and quickly removed her hands. "Ok. It's a date."

Olivia raised her eyebrow.

"A date… on my book for today, around twelve?" Alex laughed.

"Yea," Olivia opened the door and walked out. She took a deep breath. She really thought she was just about to pounce on Alex. She wanted Alex so bad, but she was more afraid of getting hurt. She wanted to get over it and move on. All she could think of is Alex in Colorado meeting another girl while Alex was with her. She knew Alex wasn't like that, but she couldn't help but think.

**Rudi's **

"I have to say, we haven't gone out like this in a while," Elliot finally stated with mouth full of fries.

"You can say that again," Fin replied lifting up his drink.

"Well, I think this is a good time to set a date to review your arresting paper work." Alex eyed Fin and Elliot.

They both nodded in unison.

"Did you know millions of people get robbed everyday and homicides are only one percent of the crime total poll of the US? It's sad that many people are being victimized yet we only care about the dead ones." Munch shook his head.

They all stared at him.

Munch looked up. "What?"

"You just need to shut your mouth sometimes, that's all." Fin replied.

"All I'm saying is-"

"Shut up," Fin hit Munch across the back of his head.

Elliot looked at the time. "Whoa, we got to get going guys. Olivia, can you stay with Cabot to get the search warrant of this guy's car. We didn't find the kiddie porn in his house." Elliot asked picking up his jacket and key's.

Olivia hesitantly nodded.

"Thanks." He gave a warm smile and departed from them.

"Well, I guess we can get that warrant. The sooner, the better." Olivia sipped the last of her drink and now was leaning on her palms.

"Didn't your parents tell you '_no elbows on the table_'?" Alex sneered.

"Parent. And no she decided the bottle was her dinner every day. That's what killed her you know. The bottle." Olivia sighed, "I vowed to myself that I would not drink as much as her."

"Ooh, sorry." Alex felt embarrassed.

"It's ok. Not like you knew. We were only together a week remember." Olivia gave her crooked smile.

"The best week of my life," Alex sipped her drink to hide her face from Olivia's response.

"Same here. A part of me wishes you would stay. The other part wishes you would just disappear. I hate having to see you every day. It kinda hurts." Olivia replied. She placed her hair in a ponytail, "Anyways, can we get that warrant?" Olivia gave another crooked smile.

"Can I drive?" Alex had a huge plan.

"Ok." They walked out of the restaurant.

**Olivia's Car**

"Why do you hate seeing me every day? It was your choice, Olivia, not mine." Alex stated with both hands on the wheel and frequently turning around to see Olivia.

"I knew there was something wrong when you asked to drive… You just passed the court." Olivia stated pointing to the huge building.

"Really, I guess we can't turn now. There is traffic." Alex smiled as the car pulled to a halt and only moving every 2 minutes.

Olivia rolled her eyes, _'Why does she keep doing this?'_

Alex looked at Olivia, "Why are you running away from this? I don't get it. We waited I don't know how long to get together and you are acting like you can just let it go."

Olivia turned towards the window leaning on her hand. "Maybe _I can_ just let it go. Alex, I told you if you want to talk about us that you could call me." Olivia stared out the window. She was hoping Alex would drop this. Although fearing getting hurt, Olivia believed that Alex is and will always be the best thing that happened to her.

Alex smiled and pulled out her phone. She moved the car forward as the cars moved. She dialed Olivia's number. She held the phone to her ear.

.

Olivia smiled and shook her head and picked up the phone. "I wonder who this is."

"Hi, Olivia. It's Alex, I was just wondering if we can talk about us since we have so much time right now." Alex giggled.

"No." Olivia shut the phone.

"That was mean." Alex made a pouty face.

Olivia finally looked at Alex. "Ok, what is going to make you stop bothering me? I just want to get the search warrant." Olivia stated annoyed.

"You really want to know what is going to make me _stop bothering you_." The blue eyed ADA got so close to Olivia, that Olivia's could feel her breathing on her ear.

Olivia tingled inside. Word's couldn't be made out in her mind for a response so she nodded.

Slowly Alex breathed on Olivia's neck. She slowly brought her way to Olivia's lips, however before she can touch them a car honked, which startled Olivia. Alex just smiled and turned to move the car.

'Phew. I was just about to give in.' Olivia thought. She quickly turned around and looked at the window.

"You are so lucky, Detective. I would have had you…"

"I think we should get the warrant," Olivia stated looking at the time on her phone.

Alex nodded and made a u-turn.

**AN: Will Olivia take Alex back? Or will she be stubborn as she ever will be and think about her fear not her happiness? I just want 4 reviews for this chapter because I like your feedback. Hope you liked this chapter.**


	8. It Does Get Better

**Chapter 8 ** **It Does Get Better**

**AN: I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that this is the last chapter of this wonderful love story. The good news…I have more stories you can read so favorite me as an author, place an author alert and read my other A/O stories. Thank you and I present you with Chapter 8.**

Olivia exited the car following the ADA into the building.

Once they retrieved the warrant and exited the building, they headed back to the car. Olivia tried to pry out the keys out of Alex's hand.

"Please, just let me drive. We'll get there faster." Olivia pleaded with Alex who already got into the driver's seat.

Olivia sighed and entered the car.

"I can drive twice as fast. Plus, you heard the judge, right? We have the guy in custody so there is no rush." Alex stated with a smirk.

"Alex, I am _not_ talking about us on the job." Olivia turned towards the passenger seat window.

"Actually, you are off the job. Elliot sent a text, _Hey, you and Olivia are off. Fin got this idiot to confess. We are heading home. We are sentencing him to 20 years + Casey Novak was there so you can talk with her. Thanks."_ Alex read. She turned towards Olivia, "Now that we are off the job. Can we talk?"

Olivia didn't understand why this world hated her so much. Why did Elliot text Alex not her? Olivia just nodded avoiding any type of contact with Alex.

Alex hadn't started the car yet. "I just want to be with you Olivia. I know a year seems like a century, but you did without me for two years. I just want it to be you and me." Alex stared at Olivia.

There was something about Alex's speeches that got Olivia revved up. Olivia turned towards Alex. She felt she had to at least get her feeling's out there. She hated getting all mushy gushy, but Alex had that affect on her.

"I love you, Alex. The truth is…" Olivia breathed, she felt the waterworks coming. "The truth is I can't be without you for a year…I just can't…but I know I can try, for you. You have this affect on me…" Olivia felt tears fall from her cheek. She didn't care to wipe them; she had to let this be known. "I can't be without you again. It's not because of the distance or because you are not going to be physically here with me." Olivia continued to shed tears. Alex had her tears rising like a tidal wave ready to crash. "I am scared. I hate saying it Alex and it may sound weird, but I am scared. I am scared of getting hurt, of letting my feelings show, of so many things that harbor my worst fear…which is losing you." Olivia was now uncontrollably sobbing.

Alex blue eyes gleamed with tears forming and dripping down her cheeks. "Olivia…you are not going to lose me…and don't be scared, I am here, that… that where I will forever be, even if I am 3 million miles away from here." Alex gazed into the brunettes eyes.

"I…am just afraid Alex." Olivia relaxed her head on the seat. She shut her eyes.

"Look, we can go to your apartment and continue this conversation." Alex turned on the car when Olivia nodded her head.

5 minutes later Olivia was sound asleep in the passenger seat. Olivia's home was half an hour from where she was located.

_Why was Olivia so scared? _Alex thought. _I hope I didn't mess her up. Why did she think she was going to lose me? And most of all why was she afraid of getting hurt?_

A couple minutes later past from driving, Olivia started stirring and woke up. "We aren't there yet? I am tired. I want my bed." Olivia gave her famous crooked smile.

"We are almost there," Alex smiled.

Olivia turned towards Alex, "Why did we choose each other?"

Alex chokes almost on these words, "What?"

"Why did destiny put you and me together? I could deal with less heartache that way." Olivia smirked.

Alex turned towards Olivia then back on the road, "I have no idea. My heartache healed when we were together that one week. I just want to be with you again, if you let me, Olivia. I want to stay with you and help you get over those fears."

"I want to be with you Alex, but how many long distance relationships do you know of that last in a year? I remember reading a statistic saying less than 1%." Olivia replied.

"We can be that 1 percent, Liv. We can do this. I know you love me as much as I love you." Alex parked the car in the garage.

Olivia unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her door. Alex got out on the other side. She met with Olivia at the entrance and they waltzed through the hallway to get to the elevator.

Once they got up Olivia opened her door with her key and let Alex in.

"I am heading to bed…so…" Olivia gazed at Alex.

"I am going with you. We _have_ to talk Olivia." Alex had a concerned look on her face.

Olivia shrugged and laid on her bed. Alex climbed on and laid on Olivia's chest.

"I want us, Olivia. I just can't let you go. Even when I am in Colorado, I will haunt you." Alex smiled.

"Really?" Olivia replied cynically. "I don't think, that will be possible, if I am willing to do this for you." Olivia smiled at Alex's reaction.

Alex jumped and had way more than a smile on her face, "I love you. I love you. Thank you." She kissed Olivia on the lip.

Olivia chuckled at Alex's excitement. "I love you, too."

**The END.**

**AN: How did you like that ending? I think Olivia will get over her fears. She hid her feelings and now that they are all out there she can finally accept that her feelings for Alex are never going to change. Hey, I would like some reviews on the overall story. Thank you for reading. I have more to give so favorite me as an author and read my other stories.**


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